And they look out so hard for the well being of the spiders AND the dolphins
@moss-wizard of course this isn’t how we serve it!!
It has to be in a dish with much higher sides, so when we go to cut it and it tries to sliiiiiide away it doesn’t escape and blorp blorp blorp across mom’s nice tablecloth
SLICE YOUR CANNED BOGBERRY GOO INTO DISCS BEFORE SERVING, YOU FILTHY HERETICS.
NO. IT WILL BE SERVED IN PROPER CAN SHAPE, AND WILL HAVE ITSELF SCOOPED INTO WEIRD SHAPES THE WAY THE GODS INTENDED
YOU STAY OUTTA THIS, GOD-QUEEN-EMPEROR. AND TAKE YOUR CERVID STALKERS WITH YOU.
It’s supposed to be served in can shape with two discs already sliced and laying tastefully in front
I have consulted the scriptures and this is variation is still within the bounds of orthodoxy.
Mash the can shape up. We giving the table what they want, chaos in a dish, with a serving spoon.
Not to derail the escalating heresy, but what do dolphins have to do with cranberry bogs?
cranberry is served in its can shape in the can direction, not on its side but on its cylinder
Right but you guys know that ocean spray also sells like. Cranberries. Which you can use to make an actually edible cranberry sauce on the stovetop in 10 minutes of unattended cook time
actual cranberries? ew no thank you. The unprocessed chunky stuff is GROSS.
Look, in my house, we mix it with whipped cream and freeze it in a graham cracker crust for dessert!
Behold, my grandmother’s recipe for Cranberry Surprise:
For the crust, combine 2/3 cup crushed ginger snap crumbs (put them in a large plastic bag and crumble with a rolling pin, or a mug if you don’t have one) with 2 T. of sugar. Press into a 9" pie plate.
For the filling, pour a half-pint of regular whipping cream into a bowl, and beat until stiff. Mix in 2 T. of sugar and ½ tsp. of almond extract.
In another bowl, take a 14 oz. CHILLED can of jellied cranberry sauce and mash it with a potato masher if you’ve got one, or a fork if you don’t. (My mom bought me a potato masher specifically so I could make this dessert at holidays without having to borrow hers.)
Once the log is goo, fold the cranberry sauce into the whipped cream mix. Yes, it’s supposed to be THAT pink.
Pour the pink cream-and-cranberry mix into the crust and freeze for at least 24 hours. Cut and serve immediately upon removal from freezer.
American Horror Food is one of my favorite tumblr post types.
(I make it from real cranberries but if I decide to go with Goo Log, I mash it like the unorthodox godkiller that I am.)
I can only add that I worked in a deep freeze warehouse for a little bit when I was younger. The cranberries would come in loose around Halloween. This big machine would clean, sort, and dump them into 1000 lb wooden bins that would be forklifted and stacked to freeze in the warehouse.
One time, somebody lost control of a bin and broke it open. I would like you to picture a dozen warehouse workers slip sliding around on frozen cranberry ball bearings for hours, trying to clean them up, while you play Yakety Sax in your head. It was a nightmare.
Doesn’t everyone have a special cranberry-from-the-can serving plate and slice-cutting tool! What, are you all just living live Neanderthals?!?!
Oh my ZOD I love that
my brother is a culinary artist. one year he made some amazing cranberry sauce that nobody touched. the next year he made the same sauce, added a thickener, and set it in a ribbed can (he reused a pumpkin can iirc), and it was a hit.
we like the vague can-shaped fruit gelatin. i personally like it even more when it’s home-made.
Ah, in my house we serve this standing up on a plate, and we call it Invisible Can. It is not a holiday dinner without Invisible Can.
i’ve had two conversations recently with angry, betrayed fans who told me their show violated an explicit contract with their audience (“they promised us X”), and in neither case were these things actually promised. it’s incredibly baffling
OPEN LETTER TO FANFICTION WRITERS ON ACCESSIBILITY; PLEASE READ.
first of all, thank you for spending your time, seldom acknowledged and definitely deserving of a compensation you are not receiving, to entertain us. i’m speaking on behalf of more than just blind readers, but everyone. you’re sick as hell.
i’ve summoned you to provide some information you may not already know. i know a lot of you like fonts. especially those who cross post their work on wattpad. i admire any and all acts of aestheticism to a degree, and can understand the desire to use them. (blind folk, sorry y’all. momma’s making a point.) 𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔣𝔣 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰, it’s cute. 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 is a little cuter to me, if i had to choose. or maybe 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈?
now, sighted folk: if you’re on mobile, i implore you to participate in a little exercise for me. select this text and scroll through all the copy/paste/define/‘search the web’ options until you get to the speak portion. if you need to change a setting for your phone to do so, would you mind? i’d really appreciate it.
please make your phone read aloud part of my post, and be sure to include any bits with those super cute fonts. 𝕚’𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕖𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕗 𝕞𝕪 𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕒, 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖. 𝕚 𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕝𝕪, 𝕚 𝕕𝕠𝕟’𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕤𝕢𝕦𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕪 𝕥𝕪𝕡𝕠𝕤 𝕚 𝕔𝕒𝕟’𝕥 𝕤𝕖𝕖.
whether you participated and discovered it for yourself or you thought this was a crock of shit you’d rather not sniff, i’ll tell you! screen readers cannot dictate words using those fonts. at least, on a majority of devices. not mine, or any of my mutuals elsewhere.
you do not have to change your behavior on my behalf, but please be aware that fonts limit access to your work.
blind readers do exist, i exist, and i am bound by the same feelings of dogged longing that make other sad horny bitches read angsty, smutty, father-wounded nonsense.
thanks for making it this far. i really hope my sincerity is being conveyed, reading makes me so happy and i’m not the only person on this app who relies on accessibility settings more often than not. do with this information what you will, and have the day you deserve!
!!!
this needs to be explained because I am an insufferable webdev
those aren’t fonts
a font is code that affects existing plain-text and makes it look interesting. Times New Roman is a font. THAT shit is using “Unicode characters that resemble letters, but technically aren’t - some of them are maths symbols - and so screenreaders have never seen them before”
They CAN be translated. For instance, if you stick 𝕚 into Google, it’ll cleverly recognise that you probably mean the letter i and it’ll give you results for that, because Google have a lot of very expensive developers who like doing things like that. But the people who make screenreaders didn’t anticipate this use of maths symbols to form sentences, and so nobody has updated the software.
(Making those conversion webpages that ‘turn your plain-text into pretty Unicode characters’ is a minor crime against accessibility, teens aren’t to know it’s not actually a font.)
“The state lawmaker whose hometown in Maine was torn apart by a gunman wielding a sniper rifle on Wednesday issued a stunning mea culpa on Thursday, apologizing for previously voting against an assault rifle ban and vowing to do everything possible to outlaw “weapons of war.” “The time has now come for me to take responsibility for this failure which is why I now call on the United States Congress to ban assault rifles like the one used by the sick perpetrator of this mass killing,” said State Rep. Jared Golden, whose district includes Lewiston, where Army marksman Robert Card allegedly killed 18 people in a bowling alley and a nearby bar. Golden conceded his prior opposition to gun control measures was based on several “misjudgments,” among them, his “fear of this dangerous world,” his determination to protect his wife and daughter in their home, and his “false confidence that our community was above this and that we could be in full control.” He asked his constituents and the victims of Wednesday’s dual massacres for forgiveness. “At a time like this a leader is forced to grapple with things that are far greater than his or herself,” he said. “Humility is called for as accountability is sought.””
I mean, yes. We’ve been saying this for literally thirty years, but better late than never.
I just hope that he won’t walk this back and vote with the NRA all over again just as soon as this fades from memory, replaced by the next mass shooting, which is scheduled for tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. And the day after that. And t
i’m not angry about the death that just happened on that show. sometimes people die in this universe*. and redeeming a character before killing them off is a really common way to make that death emotionally resonant. but it does feel lazy and weirdly motivated by the writers. if redacted 1 needed to go so redacted 2 could move on with 2’s life, why couldn’t 1 have been the one to retire?
it’s really a testament to the great writing and character work of wheel of time that i was compelled throughout despite almost every line of dialogue including in-show lingo that i only got context for like half the time
